What I learned about my mates in life could be a book in it’s self. Now, that Dick has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has spent numerous days in the V.A. hospital and a Veterans long term care contract home, I realize that most of our problems were as a result of the mental illness. I just wish he could have gotten help and medication in the early years of the disorder. Maybe things would have turned out differently. But then, I wouldn’t have met Howard and he truly has been the light of my life. I needed purpose and he’s given me that. When we were first united I didn’t know he had such a soft side. Everyday he makes me feel valued and worthwhile. It’s the opposite of how I felt with Dick. He also has a need of being appreciated. I read in the book “Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus” that men need appreciation and women need to be listened to, which probably sums up most relationships.
My house as a youngster had five doors to the outside. It was a 3 story house with a wrap around front porch, a parlor that was later turned into a bedroom. Only strangers came to the door that faced the road. Company came to the door that entered the dining room which was the main entry on the south. The other entry on the south was to the kitchen, and it was used by close family and friends. We never locked the doors, and I never remember being robbed. As an adult I’ve lived in two states: California, and in Kansas. I lived in rural Carbondale for over 21 years, and then to Topeka in 1994. We always kept the doors locked at night. It was a habit developed in California. The back doors were used the most by visitors in rural Carbondale—again, the front door faced the highway and only strangers seemed to drive up to it. Everyone else came through the garage. In Topeka, where I live now, the front door being close to the drive way, is the door of preference for visitors, except when the garage is open and family or friends come through to the open back door.